Today is my first day of school! I am so excited. I remember being a kid and jittery with anticipation and excitement the day before the first day of school. I’d have my outfit picked out and my school bag packed. Now that’s a daily routine before work but that’s besides the point. Today I have those jitters. I am excited to be back in the sterile university building that has come to feel so familiar. I am so looking forward to being reunited with my dear, dear classmates. It is time.
Today marks the turning of a chapter. It’s a new year, I am starting my third semester as a graduate student. I am happy, fulfilled, and thrilled to be pursuing my ambitions. I have the faith that life works itself out and the universe beautifully lays out our path for us. I feel free and am doing right by me. I have passion racing through my veins, confident that I am fulfilling my destiny.
That was written yesterday, I didn’t take my computer to school with me and what a liberating thing, not to mention the weight off my shoulder. So here I sit with my tea, reflecting on last night’s class and my feelings after having a fitful night of sleep.
Frankly, I felt overwhelmed by the first class. We went through the syllabus and there is so much reading. And this is just one class, I am taking a second class that is going to be labor intensive as it is an applied research project requiring travel. Not to mention that I work full time and fully value balance. However, despite my feeling overwhelmed, as I re-read the words that I had written yesterday, I am overcome by a sense of calm. I will get it done. I will turn to my tried and true to do list method. My scheduling of, well, just about everything. And, this will be a drastic change for me especially after the holidays, but there will be a major cut back in my social life. But as I said yesterday, I am ready and this is what must be done. Sitting on the side lines is not my style, it may be difficult and saying no to that second drink or that invitation to happy hour might be difficult but I don’t even feel that it will because my desire to proceed down this path is greater than my desire to have a glass of wine with a friend after work. I say that knowing very well that my friends understand and support my path. And when it is time for me to relax, that wine will taste sweeter, the time with friends well earned.
So here’s to a new semester! Here’s to fulfilling one’s destiny! Here’s to knowing when to say yes and when to say no.