I woke up sort of down this morning. Maybe low energy, tired or maybe from the weather. Who knows. I read in bed a bit before deciding to go to the beach. The beach always makes me feel better and clears my mind.
It was beautiful out. The sun was shining and there was a whole flock of seagulls in the water. I walked up to them and they made way for me begrudgingly. Sometimes I pick on birds as if they were my little siblings. I run after them until they fly away.
I got in my head to the sound of the waves. I was just melancholy. The world is this and I am that and why and when. I want to be publishing more. I want to be teaching yoga, etc. I want it now.
I said good morning to everyone passing me and then it started to rain. A drizzle that I heard before I saw or felt. It was landing on the already wet sand, leaving hundreds of pockmarks. And then it started to pour. I decided to turn around even though it wasn’t my normal turnaround point. A woman in a t-shirt walked by with a kid in a stroller. She was soaked and her blonde ponytail was sticking to her face.
“That was unexpected,” I called to her.
She pushed the hair from her face and let out a belly laugh, “no! Isn’t it great?”
I kept walking. Another man waved at me from a distance. “How are you doing, miss?” He said in accented English.
I gave him a thumbs up. I’ve come to use thumbs ups more these days with the advent of zoom meetings and social distancing.
With the rain beating down on my chest and head I thought about a magnet I have on my fridge that someone gave me ages ago, “Life isn’t about waiting out the storm, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
That’s it. I’m not in my dream career. I’m not publishing as much as I want. I’m not a yoga teacher yet. But…I have to go through THIS to get there. It’s like they say, the journey is part of the destination. You can’t get where you’re going without being where you are. And being, embracing where you are in this moment, on this journey and in this path, will shape your destination. It is part of the process.
The book I was reading this morning is The Four Agreements. I’ve read the book before and I had underlined things in it. One of the things I had underlined the last time I read the book was, “faith is unconditional.” We’ve all heard that love is conditional but today I want to remind myself—and you, dear readers—that faith is unconditional, too. Believing that life works out. That the path, the journey are leading you to your destination—your destiny—is something worth having faith in.