Sometimes you just
need a chocolate croissant from Pavel’s. When the world feels so ephemeral—I’m
thinking of the fire of Notre Dame in Paris, not to make light of the
situation—you need to devour a croissant in its lovely entirety. Or when
someone lets you down or acts without integrity you have none other but to turn
to Pavel’s for a buttery, dark chocolaty croissant.
It was Tuesday and I was hungry for lunch. I was in PG running errands and popped into Pavel’s to get a sandwich. Side note, have you ever had their sandwiches? They are amazing. But they were out of sandwiches so I thought, this is God’s way of telling me I should have a chocolate croissant for lunch. To remind me of the beauty of each moment and reinstill my faith in humanity.
I got the chocolate croissant and suddenly there was a skip in my step. I didn’t eat it, of course, the consumption of a Pavel’s chocolate croissant is ritualistic in my book and must be done seated and without distraction. So I carried it, as if I were carrying a treasure, as I ran around PG taking care of my to do list. I smiled when I delicately deposited it on the backseat of the car to drive back to work, knowing the time was getting closer to enjoy my treat. And as I drove down Lighthouse, the fragrance of the chocolate croissant, a sweet, buttery smell permeated the warm car. I sang along with the radio in glee.
I got to work and parked. With great care I took the white paper bag that housed the chocolate croissant from the backseat and carried it as if it were on a platter. The bag was now grease-stained and wonderful. I usually walk with purpose but this time I was on a mission and I pounded the pavement to my office. Every step was bringing me closer to my indulgence. Once in my office I closed the door and smelled the chocolate croissant. It smelled so sweet. Its weight bent it in my fingers as I photographed it for you, my faithful readers. I set it on my desk and sat down in front of it. As always, I ripped the small nub off of one end and peered inside. This one was particularly chocolatey. Because of the imperfect nature of artisan baking sometimes some croissants have more chocolate than others. The ganache was beautiful and dark next to the white and fluffy internal dough of the croissant. The outside is brown and crunchy. I took the first bite and time stopped. My mouth watered and I closed my eyes to be present with my not-so-petit croissant.
I sat back in my chair and chewed slowly before contemplating the croissant and the beauty of life and slowly eating the whole thing.
The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Hola de Laguna San Ignacio, Baja California, Mexico. I am fortunate enough to have fun-loving, adventurous friends. I guess it’s true what they say, birds of a feather flock together. But anyhow, some friends of mine asked if I would be interested and available to join them in flying down to Baja California in their little Cessnas. I checked my work calendar and managed my schedule such that I could take some time off to fly to Mexico and camp on the beach.
The friend of my
friends—Dave—has been flying down to this one little beach in Baja for about 30
years. He has a deal worked out with the guys who run the fishing and camping
village on the Sea of Cortez where he leaves his RV and flies back a couple
times a year to camp, fish, and enjoy the great outdoors. He often invites
anyone who is willing and able to fly down because it’s pretty remote but does
have a landing strip. I was fortunate enough to get invited down and…you know
me…I’ll seize any opportunity for adventure.
It was my first time in
a small plane and let me tell you, I could get used to this! We flew from
Monterey to San Diego where we fueled up and had lunch and continued on to San
Felipe, an official port of entry for us to clear Mexican customs. But no true
adventure is complete without a hiccup or two and we were told we couldn’t make
it where we were going before dark. The FAA gentleman told us to relax, we
would have to spend the night in San Felipe. He called a cab—his dad—who picked
us all up and took us to a hotel in town and the next morning he picked us up
again, brought us to the airport and we were able to fly to our destination of
Punta San Francisquito where we buzzed the beach and found Dave and his 88-year-old
mother and some of his friends waiting for us. I just learned that “buzzing” in
airplane speak is flying low to get someone to see you. So fun!
One day of this whirlwind adventure was slotted for whale watching. So we loaded up the three little planes with the twelve of us and flew to San Ignacio so we could get into boats and head out on the lagoon towards the Pacific Ocean to see the grey whales before they migrate north. It was such a magical experience, being in a small boat close to so many whales. And the calves are so curious, they would come up to the boat and nudge it and let us touch them.
After a lovely and turbulent boat ride we stepped into the restaurant for lunch and based on all the shells we passed on the drive in, I knew I was to order scallops, grilled and served with garlic. With of course, piping hot, paper thin tortillas and a killer margarita. It was just the perfect thing, making my own little tacos with the scallops on the hot tortillas and drinking the cold margarita in good company.
I have to say, this is a beautiful life we live and I urge you to seize any opportunity that comes your way. Or make adventure right here in PG…grab a friend—or take yourself!—and head to Peppers for Mexican food if this article has got you craving Mexican food. Or, did you know the new Poppy Hall on Lighthouse offers $1 oysters on Monday evenings? Along with a cava (Spanish sparkling wine) special. Regardless, there is no shortage for adventure opportunities in our little PG. It’s a matter of making magic.
Greetings from Singapore! I am en route home from Brunei—a tiny country on the island of Borneo in the South China Sea. I was in Brunei for work and decided to have an extended layover in Singapore on the way home to visit a friend who lives here. My friend’s parents are also visiting and it’s always nice to see familiar faces.
Singapore
is the city of the future, they say. High rise buildings, Wi-Fi on the busses,
a financial hub…it’s incredible. The city-state, formally The Republic of
Singapore, is teeming with people and you can hear every language
imaginable—and even some you can’t recognize—on the street. It is cosmopolitan,
people come from all over the world to work and create a life for themselves.
As you walk on the streets you see a wide range of people dressed in a variety
of outfits: stilettos and chic dresses, cargo shorts and Birkenstocks, hijabs,
saris, you name it.
Despite
being a heavily populated metropole, it is impeccably clean and crime rates are
very low. Singapore has strict laws that are seriously enforced against
littering, spitting on the street, vandalism, etc. You may recall the American
teenager, Michael Fay, who in 1994 was sentenced to four months in prison, a
S$3,5000 fine, and six strokes of the cane for vandalism. Chewing gum is
forbidden. You won’t find street food, either, as they are banned. Instead you
will find hawker centers—open-air markets with many stalls selling inexpensive
food. It is fascinating.
While
I have been indulging in my fair share of food from the hawkers, my favorite
dish by far has been soto ayam made
by Yati, my friend Emilie’s Indonesian housekeeper. Soto ayam is an Indonesian spicy chicken noodle soup. I was drawn
to the kitchen by the smell of sautéed coriander only to find a huge tray with
all of the ingredients neatly spread out and Yati hard at work behind a mortar
and pestle. I asked her what the yellow paste was that she was pounding and she
told me it was the marinade for the chicken: garlic, ginger, shallot, and
turmeric. There may have been other ingredients, too. I watched fascinated; I
have no experience with Indonesian cuisine. When it was dinner time, we were
each served a soup bowl and on the surface there was sautéed celery and celery
greens; a hard-boiled egg, cut in half; chicken sausage; fried chicken; fried
tofu; a quarter of a tomato; and fried onions. Underneath this was fresh
noodles, bean sprouts, and fried peanuts swimming in chicken broth. I watched
Yati mix the contents of her bowl, add lime and chili sauce, and start eating
with chopsticks in one hand and a Chinese spoon in the other. I followed suit.
The
first bite was overwhelming. Overwhelming in the best possible way, it is
incredibly rich and fragrant. Although I had never had this or anything like it
before it was comforting. It was warm, sour, spicy, and flavorful. The crunch
of the cool bean sprouts in the warm broth was delightful. The fried peanuts were
so unusual to me in a soup and I loved it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring Yati
back with me although I asked her if she would come and she loved the idea. And
there are no Indonesian restaurants in the area but I found a few online in the
Bay Area. I haven’t been so I can’t vouch for their tastiness but I do plan to
try one the next time I find myself up north.
They say when in Rome, do as the Romans, so if you go to Singapore, be sure to eat the hawkers’ food, find soto ayam—although it’s Indonesian, and look up the laws and be sure to abide by them.
This past Friday night I went out to dinner at Porta Bella in Carmel with my friend Father Dominic and our deacon friend John. We sat in their quaint, heated back patio that is painted Tuscan clay red and has plants creeping on the walls. One of the co-owners of the restaurant, Faisal, who is also a friend of Father Dominic’s joined us.
One thing I always do when I go out to eat—after looking over the menu and picking one or two things that sound good—is ask the waitress what her favorite item on the menu is. The response is one of two things: without skipping a beat she tells me her favorite item or she says, “that’s a tough one!” and lists a few items she likes or are popular among diners. If what she recommends lines up with what I was looking at, I definitely know what I’m ordering. If not, well it depends on if it was her favorite item in which case I’ll consider ordering it. This time I had the luxury of asking one of the restaurant owners. One of his three favorites, the Lamb Ossobuco, was one of the items I was considering so I knew I’d be having that for dinner.
But of course, it was Friday
night and Father Dominic and John, like myself, are epicures so we started with
soup and appetizers. I had the roasted corn and crab bisque and it was
spectacular: rich, warm, and creamy on a cold rainy night. I appreciate a slow
meal and this was just that. We talked and caught up on life and for those of
us who were not already friends, we got to know each other a little more. Next,
we shared the skewered grilled jumbo prawns served with a lemon aioli, the
lobster ravioli, and the beef tenderloin carpaccio. I love beef carpaccio—a raw
dish of thinly sliced meat typically served with lemon, olive oil, parmesan
cheese, and truffle oil. Porta Bella’s also adds arugula and capers and they’re
perfect accompaniments to the raw meat. Interestingly enough, the dish was
invented in 1950 by Giuseppe Cipriani of Harry’s Bar in Venice for countess
Amalia Nani Mocenigo when he heard that her doctors had recommended she eat raw
meat. The name—carpaccio—comes from the Venetian painter Vittore Carpaccio
whose work is characterized by red and white tones, reminiscent of raw meat.
The main course, the Lamb
Ossobuco, was served with a potato gratin and vegetables while the lamb itself
was cooked with red wine and white raisins. The meat was spectacularly tender
and the flavors were perfect. We enjoyed a local cabernet with the meal and it
was the perfect complement.
As the evening and meal went on, more people joined or replaced others and our table was buzzing with people and lively conversation; as the plates were cleared, a backgammon board appeared and a game was started. You see Faisal comes from a big family and network of restaurateurs in Carmel and as some got off work they would come to check out Porta Bella…seeing the owner seated for a change inspired people to come chat, pull up a chair, and join us. And even more so after learning that we had a priest at the table.
The discussion grew philosophical and Father Dominic was questioned on issues of morality which he answered in stride…as a Catholic priest, this is what he does for a living. It became a regular occurrence for someone seated at the table to apologize to him after saying something off-colored. Which brings me back to my initial point, “how you do anything is how you do everything.” I don’t believe that we ought to alter our behavior or our self in the presence of a Catholic priest or anyone for that matter. Sure, there is discretion and professional behavior but who we are ought to be who we are always. I find the idea of behavior-altering more troublesome than the off-colored comment, in other words, I appreciate integrity of the self. If I say something and feel I must apologize for it, maybe I oughtn’t have said it. Don’t get me wrong, I have said my fair share of things that I shouldn’t have said and will probably do so many times over in my life but, in an effort to grow and constantly improve myself I like to remind myself that how I do anything is how I do everything, to be intentional with each little thing because the culmination of all of those little things is me and my character. So here’s to being true to oneself when nobody is looking or even in the highest profile of company.
roasted corn and crab bisqueskewered grilled jumbo prawns with lemon aioli
This past weekend was my dear friend Shandy’s birthday. The
week prior she had asked me if I would make her birthday cake. It has become a
tradition that I make this chocolate stout cake for a couple friends’
birthdays, including Shandy, and she swears it’s her favorite cake in the
world. A week later her husband also sent me a text asking if I would make her
favorite cake. What an honor because I simply have to follow a recipe and it
can mean so much to a friend.
I first discovered this recipe in Gourmet magazine when I
was in college. I was captivated by the photo of the big slice of chocolate
cake sitting alongside a chilly glass of stout. Being in college and just
beginning my relationship with beer—my relationship with chocolate has been
lifelong—my curiosity was piqued. I was living in Del Mar at the time and
working at a gourmet chocolate shop where we carried—and paired to chocolate—several
beers by the local Stone Brewery. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to
explore and expand my understand of chocolate and beer pairings. I lived in
what my roommate and I called the beach shack, it was one block from the beach,
we never locked the door and the house always seemed to be buzzing with people,
the only two constants being my roommate Diana and myself. Our other
semi-permanent roommate Kate was a Biochemistry post-doc at UCSD and we transformed
the back of the house into a crash pad for post-docs, surfers, friends, etc. I
often cooked big pots of curry or baked something and left it out for whoever
was around to eat. I made this cake regularly and we always had beer in the
fridge to go along. It seemed to be the perfect post-surf or post-run snack for
us twenty-somethings who could never get enough to eat and always had room for
a cold beer.
A word of warning, this cake is heavy so it is not for the
faint of eater or heart. Also, the original recipe suggested you eat it
alongside a stout beer. I hope you enjoy and maybe it will become the favorite
of someone in your life’s.
Chocolate Stout Cake
3 oz unsweetened chocolate
3 eggs, separated
1 1/4 cup + 3 tbsp. sugar (for 2 separate things)
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
14 tbsp unsalted butter at room temperature
3/4 cup stout, I use Boatswain chocolate stout from Trader Joes
2/3 cup freshly brewed strong coffee, cooled to room temperature
Frosting
1 lb bittersweet chocolate, I use Trader Joe’s 70% pound plus chocolate
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1 tsp instant espresso powder, optional
Heat oven to 350˚F. In a double boiler, melt the chocolate.
Butter two round nine-inch cake pans. Line the bottoms with
parchment paper, butter and flour the parchment paper. Set aside. In a medium
bowl, mix flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
In a standup mixer beat the butter and 1 1/4 cup sugar until
light and fluffy and pale yellow, about two minutes. Add yolks, one at a time,
beating well after each addition. Add lukewarm chocolate and mix until
well-incorporated. Next add the coffee and stout and mix until incorporated. Beat
in flour mixture in two additions until it is just incorporated.
Using clean, dry beaters, in a separate bowl beat the egg
whites and remaining three tablespoons of sugar until they form stiff peaks.
Fold one-third of the whites into the cake to lighten it. Then fold the
remaining egg whites in in two additions. Pour batter distributing evenly in
the two cake pans and bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes
out clean. Cool in pans for 20 minutes, then invert on a cooling rack, remove
the parchment paper and cool completely before frosting.
For frosting:
Chop the chocolate and place in a medium, heatproof bowl.
Set aside. In a saucepan over low heat, heat the whipping cream with the
instant espresso, if you so choose. Bring the cream to a simmer stirring
occasionally. Once it’s reached a simmer, pour it over the chocolate and let it
sit for two minutes then whisk until all of the chocolate is melted and the
mixture is smooth. Chill until slightly thickened and spreadable, stirring
occasionally, about two hours. But not much longer because otherwise you can’t
spread it.
I use all of the frosting to stuff and frost the cake. Serve with coffee or stout or a coffee stout and enjoy!
“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.”
–Anthony Bourdain
I am here to dispel the myth that work-travel is paid vacation. I often hear from people how great it must be that I get to travel so much (it is, but bear with me). In their mind they have painted a luxurious picture of me lounging in spas getting massages, leisurely visiting museums, and dining at the best locales the city du jour has to offer.
Let me repaint that picture for you based on my
most recent work trip to Tampa. My flight was at 6:05am out of Monterey this
past Sunday. I woke up at 3:13am despite having set my alarm for 4:24am. I
couldn’t go back to sleep so I gave in and got up to cook all the leftover food
I had in the refrigerator to take with me. This actually turned out to be a
great inclination later on the plane. I left for the airport a little before
5:00am, parked in long term parking, and rolled my bags to the airport check-in
counter. I flew to Phoenix where I had a quick cup of coffee before boarding my
next flight. If you have ever flown through the Phoenix airport you’ll know
that the terminals are quite far apart. While I always welcome a walk,
especially when I have planned sitting all day long, what I’m trying to acknowledge
is if you have a tight connection, a long walk may increase your stress
levels…which may or may not be elevated due to a poor night’s sleep. I made it
to Tampa and by the time I had collected my luggage, found a ride, and made it
to the hotel, it was 5:00pm. I had intended to go for a walk but it was pouring
rain and so settled in and prepared for my next day’s work. Monday we worked
all day and, at the insistence of my colleague, we went to a late dinner—not my
style—at the place to go in Tampa,
Bern’s Steakhouse. We got to the restaurant at 8:00pm.
Bern’s is an institution Tampa, it has been in
the same location since 1953, growing with time. It was opened by Bern &
Gert Laxer initially as a luncheonette. Today, it has eight dining rooms, is
dim-lit—bad for taking photos, sorry—has red velvet walls and gaudy renaissance
looking artwork scattered around the place. In addition to the dining rooms,
there’s a bar and lounge area, a separate dessert room upstairs (more on that
in a moment), a huge kitchen that offers tours, and a huge wine cellar. We
didn’t have a reservation so we got in line to put our name down with the
hostess. The people in front of us were doing the same thing and after they
finished one said to the other, “Where’s Harry?” I couldn’t help myself so I
responded, “He’s with Sally.” Harry and his friends got a kick out of it and
invited my colleague and I to join them in the lounge while we awaited our
table.
Eventually we were seated and I was told to
order steak, “this is no time to think about dieting,” chided my colleague. The
steak came with French onion soup, a house salad, grilled vegetables from the
garden, and a fully-loaded baked potato. The page on the menu for steak was a
full sheet—legal-sized—arranged in a table with the rows telling you the cuts
of steak and columns explaining the two thicknesses of cuts of each steak, its
weight, how many people it serves, and the price. On the following page was
another table describing to you how you should order your steak depending on
how you like it cooked, according to its thickness, and the cut of meat. I
ordered the 7 oz. châteaubriand, rare warm—as opposed to rare cold where the
meat on the inside would still be cold. A châteaubriand is a thick cut of
tenderloin. I couldn’t finish it or the baked potato. The soup and salad would
have made for a lovely meal all alone but not at Bern’s.
After our meal my colleague insisted we take a
tour of the kitchen and it was spectacular. We saw cuts of meats with specific
instructions on receipt paper tooth-picked to them, sprouted greens for salad
garnish, and the “onion ring” station where we were told that Bern’s goes
through about 300-500 pounds of onions a night.
The wine cellar was unbelievable: cold, dark,
damp, and expansive. We were told that it is the world’s largest
privately-owned collection of wine. At any one time there are 100,000 bottles
in the cellar…and another 500,000 bottles across the street at their
storehouse. The oldest wine by the glass is a Madeira from 1900 and the oldest
wine by the bottle is an 1845 vintage Bordeaux.
Next we hiked up the stairs to the dessert room
where all the booths are made out of the wood of whiskey casks. In each booth
is a land-line telephone where you can direct dial the pianist to request a
song. He’s playing somewhere in the dessert room—I never saw him. We ordered a
couple desserts to share: a baked Alaska that they flambéed at our table and
the King Midas (carrot cake, chocolate ice cream, and fudge sauce). It was an
exquisite and excellent experience and totally worth it.
By the time I got back to my hotel room it was after 11:00pm and I needed to pack for our 5:00am departure to the airport for the 6:15am flight to return home the following day, Tuesday. While work-travel is most certainly not a paid vacation it is thrilling if you love what you do, like I do. There is (usually) time to try a great restaurant at the expense of sleep and most of the time it’s worth it, like Bern’s was. As the late Anthony Bourdain said, travel isn’t always pretty or comfortable but in travel you are changed and hopefully leave something good behind. I’d like to think I left something good behind in Tampa or with you all, by sharing my experience and urging you to seek similar, positive experiences in any way you can.
Poor lighting, steak, vegetables, and super thin onion rings That’s a lot of meat More meatMicro-greens, grown in the kitchen for salad garnish Some of the wine in the 100,000 bottle cellar
I think the original saying is “motherhood and apple pie.” Which is meant to mean something wholesome. What does that mean, wholesome? Like the love of a mother and the deliciousness of an apple pie? Well I’m going to go with that and in my experience and understanding, motherhood is about generosity because moms (most, at least) give a lot of themselves to their children. Thank you, mommas.
It’s pretty cool, now that I’m an adult learning things on my own in America, I am learning American culture. While I was raised here, my parents were the main influencers of my life as a child and so I learned the world through their cultural lens. We speak Arabic to one another and so sayings and proverbs are obviously in Arabic and while many overlap in meaning, the references reflect the unique cultural nuances.
Anyhow, the purpose of this post is to express how sweet some people are and that they make life beautiful. And of course, an apple pie was involved.
A few weeks ago I was at a friend’s house and his wife pulled out this cool kitchen contraption that cores, peels, and slices apples all at once. It was so cool! I had never seen anything like it and I was fascinated. Fast forward to a few weeks later and one of the friends that was at our mutual friend’s house sends me a text message to say he has something for me. He wanted to meet up so he could give it to me. When we met up this is what was waiting for me:
WOW!!
I was blown away! I love gift wrapping. I understand that it is strictly ephemeral, that is, lasting only a short while but I think it’s important to appreciate things in their due time. A life lasts years, decades, but when it comes to an end, it ought to be celebrated and not clung onto. A gift is wrapped with the intention of being beautiful and enjoyed by the receiver but then it is meant to be ripped open and the contents enjoyed. While the wrapping is so beautiful and delicate it was done with the intention of a short-lived enjoyment.
Inside was the apple corer, peeler, and slicer. What a sweet gift! It totally made my day.
Naturally, I needed to make an apple pie. One to try out my new toy but two as a thank you for the gift. My friend later told me the gift was a boomerang gift, that he was benefiting from the gift himself in receiving apple pies.
Apple Pie
This was the first time I had made an apple pie! A two-crusted cinnamony, sweet apple pie. I actually don’t know how it turned out because I gave it away whole but it was eaten within the day so I take that as it was at least edible :).
You gotta love how kind people can be. It’s so easy to make someone’s day. I mean it’s one thing to buy someone a birthday present but a present just because you thought of them…now that’s just so sweet!
This morning—as I enjoy my spiced cafe au lait with the front door wide open so I can watch the rain and the classical music playing softly in the background—I contemplate balance.
They say everything in moderation, even moderation. Which is to say sometimes it’s OK to splurge, whether it be by listening to your favorite song on repeat or having more than once slice of cake. But that’s not what I am talking about, I am mentally asking myself what is the healthy level of emotional and personal balance?
The other day at church the priest was talking about being humble and this started my mental musing. I value being humble and I try to be modest but as an aspiring writer, whose success lies on promoting myself and publicizing myself, there is a bit of a grey zone. Is it self-aggrandizing to make cards with my name on them and pass them out at every opportunity? Is it self-effacing to say “oh my writing is not that good…”
I believe you can have both, be humble, modest, and kind and still promote yourself and recognize the value and skill you bring to the world. I don’t think it is shameful to have a dream and want to pursue it.
Both sides of this balance beam will, undoubtedly, illicit criticism. I can see how, when trying to promote my writing or handing out my cards a certain group of people will think—or even say—who do you think you are? Stephen King? And I can hear the other end of the spectrum of people giving me a mental, if not physical, nudge to pass out my cards, pursue freelance gigs, and tell people about my writing.
My conclusion (which is the same as my philosophy about life) is to face ever opportunity honestly and with an open heart. Sometimes this results in hurt but that’s OK, it’s foolish to think we could go through life without ever getting hurt, it comes with the territory of loving other people and putting ourselves out there. I have to recognize that the people who criticize are coming from a place of their own self-doubt or criticism or are indeed afraid for my failure. But as Paulo Coelho says, in one of my all-time favorite books The Alchemist, “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” Which reminds me of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s first inaugural address, where he stated, the “only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
While FDR and I are talking about very different things, the common theme is that fear is crippling and fear itself is what causes failure. We cannot be afraid. We cannot be afraid of the other, he or she whom we do not know and we cannot be afraid of failing because if we fully believe that we will succeed and that we are willing to give it everything we can, we will not fail.
I wish you balance. And I wish that you not be afraid to pursue your dreams—whether they be learning to scuba dive or publishing a book.
The past few days have been all about friends for me. I don’t know if our friends define us but they certainly enrich our lives.
It started the other day, one of my closest, dearest friends called me. She wanted to chat. We live only 100 or so miles from one another but we hardly get the chance to see one another. She has a newborn baby and owns a home with her husband. I work a full-time job and I am putting a lot of energy into my freelance writing. Anyhow in addition to wanting to just talk, she wanted to tell me how much our friendship meant to her. It is not often that people get raw with one another like this. I make an effort to talk about my feelings and express myself to my loved ones but sometimes it catches us off guard. After we got off the phone I was overwhelmed by love. I was so thankful to have this friend and to have received that phone call.
That same night another friend who I have known since I was a child sent me a message: “am I ever going to see you?”
I hadn’t seen her in ages. We would make plans and cancel, life would get in the way, travel, sick family members, etc. She said, “I have the next three nights available. I’m taking you to dinner, my treat.”
Luckily, I had the following night (Friday) free. She told me when and where to be and she made a reservation. We sat down and didn’t stop talking for three hours. But it was like no time had passed. She told stories about her life and of course I knew all of the characters. And same for me with her. It was endearing and again I was so thankful that someone in my life would tell me, “when are you free, I’m taking you to dinner.” I made a note in my mental notebook that I would do this in the future, when I was able and there was a friend I wanted to see and couldn’t make it happen.
Also on Friday, a friend asked if her niece could stay with me. She had never met her adult niece and had invited her to volunteer at the Jazz Festival with her. Hotels were either not available or silly expensive and I offered my place for her niece to crash. She showed up with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of Prosecco. I was again overwhelmed by joy. But the flowers and the sparkling wine were dwarfed by the human connection I had with her. We sat and talked for hours, sharing stories about our pasts, our dreams, and our families.
Last week a friend and I were going to get pedicures. While driving to the nail salon she told me she had spent a good part of the morning crying.
“Why?” I asked and before she could answer “Why didn’t you call me?”
She explained that she was moving the following week and her fiancé was scheduled to come help her move but his work wouldn’t give him the time off and—in addition to her being upset by not getting the chance to see him—now she had to pack all by herself.
I looked at her and said “I will help you!”
She went on to say I don’t want to inconvenience you and I responded by saying life isn’t always convenient but that’s why we have friends. Friends aren’t just there to take us out and have dinner with but they’re also there when things don’t go our way or as planned, they are there to help and give a hand.
“You would do that?” She asked.
Of course! The number of times I’ve had to move and someone helped me or gave me a ride somewhere or let me stay in the guest bedroom is countless. Despite how the news portrays our society, there are many more kind and helpful people than there are bad people.
As I swept pine needles on the roof of my parents’ house, I pondered all of these friendships, and many more and was thankful for them. I thought about how friendships need to be nurtured but also friends understand when life gets busy or in the way, they tell you I want to see you and I will do anything in my ability to make that happen. Friends can come to you from anywhere and what a joy it is when you meet someone you click with.
Moss hanging from the big pine tree above my parents house. Thanks to it, there are pine needles everywhere.
I know people who care about me give me a hard time for being “too nice” or “too giving.” Too giving of my time, of my things, of my heart. But I would rather go through life giving more than keeping to myself and missing out on the wonderful experiences brought to us by friends. I encourage you to stop by and see a friend you have not enjoyed the company of in a while. Share a little time and laughs.
Milenka and I decided to meet up on Friday night. She asked where I wanted to go and I told her I was a little hungry and I just wanted to eat Peruvian food. Peruvian food is amazing. There is good food everywhere and the presentation is always thoughtful and beautiful. Even cheap food or street food is delicious and beautifully presented.
We decided to meet at the same place that we first met the other day, which was 2 blocks from my hotel. I got there and stood looking for Milenka. I realized I didn’t know how tall she was because I only met her on a bike before. I stood at the crosswalk surveying people coming from the left, and the right, crossing the street toward me when suddenly I head “Sah-Lee”–soft a soft l.
“Sorry I’m late. I stopped at the pharmacy to buy some medicine, I have a cold.” She said after a kiss and a big hug.
She wore a turtleneck sweater and a jacket and told me how freezing Lima is. A lot of the Limeños I’m talking to tell me Lima is freezing right now and the weather is just intolerable. It’s been in the low 60s but for a place with temperate weather most of the year, the low 60s and heavy fog/mist is too much.
We decided to go to La Lucha Sanguchería Criolla, a very famous sandwich shop in Lima. There were two within walking distance and we picked one and walked and talked, getting to know one another.
Milenka is from Cusco but moved to Lima for work after college, she’s a fashion designer and started working at H&M in Lima a few years ago when they opened a big store in Peru. She wanted to work retail and learn about the fashion industry from that perspective. She hated retail but learned a ton. After two years she quit and worked as an independent fashion designer selling her collection at independent shows and markets for young designers in Peru. Now she works part time at a fitness clothing store and spends the rest of her time designing clothes.
She is a passionate human and we talked for what felt like hours over my sanguich, french fries, and maracuya sour (passionfruit and pisco cocktail).the potatoes they used were not what I am used to back home. The context of their starch was different, thicker which made for different fries. And my sanguich–pavo a la leña (turkey cooked over firewood) and criolla salsa which is a salsa made from thinly sliced onions, aji (a yellow pepper), cilantro, olive oil, salt, pepper, and lemon juice.She had a coffee since she’s got a cold and no appetite.
The counter at La Lucha, it looks like an old diner…I think it is!
My sanguich and french fries
We talked about love and heartbreak and all of the things we had in common. Her sweetheart had recently moved back to his homeland of Spain and she was working through those feeling We laughed and encouraged one another to take the risks and follow our hearts. This, and these relationships, I believe are what make life worth living.
We took a selfie and walked out of the restaurant. Milenka wove her arm in mine and we walked back to my hotel saying over and over how this had been a magical meeting and we are certain we will see one another again, this friendship was sent to us.
Back at the hotel I tried on one of her shirts, I had picked one out that I wanted to buy from her from her Facebook page. I loved it and it fit me perfectly. It’s so Milenka’s style and every time I wear it I will think of her.
-:- Mile and me -:-
We parted ways, not wanted to stop hugging or tell one another how magical our meeting had been. Friendship and personal connections are magical. We ought to be open to them and seize them when they present themselves. Milenka told me she had been having a crummy week and this had totally turned it around.
